Many Find It Difficult to Serve Country and Be Married at the Same Time
The demands of serving in the armed forces can take a toll on a soldier’s married and family life. Armed forces personnel can be deployed at a moment’s notice, and may be gone for months at a time, without regular communication. Soldiers may have little opportunity to be with and bond with their children as they grow. The anxiety and stress that all parties feel when one spouse is in active combat or training can put an inordinate strain on a relationship. Unfortunately, far too many military personnel find themselves parties to a divorce proceeding, and when they do, the service that they’ve put in for their country can put them at a disadvantage in custody and visitation proceedings.
Attorneys who regularly represent military personnel say that the fact that active duty soldiers have been fighting for their country, and have therefore been absentee parents, makes it extremely difficult for them to get much consideration in custody and visitation proceedings. Furthermore, because all divorce proceedings take place in civilian courts, the judges look at issues from their own civilian perspective, and not from that of the soldier. The frequent transfers that soldiers experience can make it difficult to establish where divorce and custody proceedings should take place.
Efforts are being made to simplify matters and to protect the rights of service personnel in custody and visitation matters. In 2012, the Uniform Law Commission, which develops model laws for adoption by states, approved a form Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act. The proposed law prohibits a court from using past or possible future deployment against a parent in a custody proceeding.
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